Phil Spector - A Christmas Gift for You
Philles, 1963
Welcome to our first installment of "Albums You Should Remove From This List and Put a Guided by Voices Album in its Place." Did you know there is only ONE GBV record in this so-called 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die? Only Alien Lanes made the cut, and while I'm sure you could argue that Bee Thousand and Alien Lanes achieve a similar "Peak GBV-Ness," you gotta be joking me when you've got Phil Spector's Christmas Album and Limp Bizkit's Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water on your list. Is this one of the greatest Christmas albums of all time despite the taint of Phil Spector being a psychopathic murderer? Yes, absolutely. Should you have a Christmas album on this list though? Hell no. This album has about a month and a half of utility, otherwise you should be listening to the Crystals and the Ronettes discography proper.
Seriously, CHOCOLATE STARFISH AND THE HOT DOG FLAVORED WATER made the cut. I totally get trying to capture the zeitgeist of a given year, but CHOCOLATE STARFISH AND THE HOT DOG FLAVORED WATER?! At least go for Significant Other. The thing is, you don't need to hear that album before you die. You can go your whole life without ever hearing Limp Bizkit and be totally fine. No audiophiles will give you any crap for not being a Chocolate Starfish head. The indignity. Jesus. Anyway, this is a great Christmas record. Phil Spector was a lifelong sociopath, and it is tragic that he was always on a collision course with murder, but you can't really deny his work as a producer. This is Christmas Magic by way of foreboding terror knowing what you know in hindsight, and it is only amplified by the Spector narrated "Silent Night." But I mean, it's got Darlene Love's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" so what're you gonna do?
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