Paul Simon - Graceland

Paul Simon – Graceland
Columbia, 1986
Acquired: Love Garden Shotgun Room, Used, 2007
Price: $1

Man, I am so fucking sick of Paul Simon right now. I really should have left this one for tomorrow, but it's early yet and I wanted to get it all out of the way. I've ranted and raved about how I have come to be really annoyed by Paul Simon over the course of 2 hours. I mean, homie has like, maybe 7 great songs that are worth listening to. This one has a couple of them. The title track is, of course, very good, and always good, and it's always fun to see bands cover it. “You Can Call Me Al” is also fucking awesome, and if you haven't heard Jens Lekman's version with just his voice and the Kalimba, well you must! However, I wonder if those bros from Vampire Weekend know that this Simon fellow has been ripping them off. Just listen to “I Know What I Want!” God, that was a terrible way to introduce this topic. But anyway, the segue was supposed to lead into this thing where it's probably Paul Simon's fault that all of these white musicians are copping African music lately. Ok, yeah, white folks have been copping black music forever and ever, but the African thing is bizarre. Lately there's Vampire Weekend and Dirty Projectors, some weird collective unconscious about what genre to ripoff. Maybe there's a newsletter. I don't know, but all of a sudden all these really white, Ivy League guys are loading their songs with African guitars and rhythms. And sure, I like the music, but it's just weird. This is actually maybe the best record I've listened to all night though, in terms of Simon-ese stuff. And it's still getting on my nerves. Man, maybe I'm just cranky tonight. Maybe if I had a copy of this on tape and had a cassette deck in my car and it was 1986, I would be digging this. Actually, that's a lie. I'd pry hate it more. But if I had those things NOW, well, I might end up listening to it, but only because I was too lazy to put a new tape in.

Paul Simon - Still Crazy After All These Years

Paul Simon – Still Crazy After All These Years
Columbia, 1975
Acquired: Half Price Books Olathe, Used, 2005
Price: $2

Hmm. I thought I remembered this album being pretty good. The title track is pretty good, but it's got a really irritating sax solo right smack in the middle of it. “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” is, of course, a total fucking monster jam, but that's almost all this record has going for it. You know, I'm listening to this record and I realize that I don't even like it. It's a drag getting through this adult urban contemporary shit. It's like “Hey mom and dad, I know I tried to replicate the record collection you never had to give me, but this is a record I'd take back home because I have no use for it.” Like, what is this fucking “Have a Good Time?” Paul Simon, what the fuck is this. This record is attributed to PAUL SIMON. Not some jazzy lady. SO WHY DOES IT SAY “ALL SONGS WRITTEN AND SUNG BY PAUL SIMON HUH!! I don't buy. But then “You're Kind” right after that is pretty good! This seems to be what everything Paul Simon has ever done is like. There are like, 3 or 4 really good songs then the rest are either boring or shitty or dated.

Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

Simon & Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water
Columbia, 1970
Acquired: Love Garden Shotgun Room, Used, 2006
Price: $1

Man, I don't know how Love Garden was even able to sell this one. Even for a dollar. The record is completely fucked up. It's not even scratched but goddamn, crackle city. It's a shame too, because this is the Simon & Garfunkel record with the most jams. The title track is pretty good, even though if it is some pretty sissy shit. I like the strings a lot and the weepy harmonies in the chorus. “The Boxer” is their second best song, next to “America,” and it's got the song that was featured prominently in Garden State, the indie film that launched a thousand shits. And probably a thousand acoustic covers on that song on youtube by frat boys. Man, I'm bummed. They have ceased being beatniks here and are now just dudes, and it works for them. They're still a couple of pussies, but what are you gonna do? Oh yeah! And it's got “Cecilia,” which is a fun jam, although it's been played to death. This record is pretty good.

And now, a Children's Treasury of your boyfriend proving he's a sensitive bro by playing "The Only Living Boy in New York."

The "I just spent ten years in gulag" bro:


The South Asian bro:


The "we're not gay, we just like to touch and hold eachother at night" bros:


The sensitive dealing with serious issues bro:


The Clueless Bro:


The Broken English (I Think) Bro-ette:


The "I'm going to be late, but I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT IT'S ALL MY FAULT HERE'S THIS COVER I PLAYED ON MY GUITAR BEFORE SCHOOL" bro-ette. Peep the description on the youtube site, it's gold.


I actually really like this girl's version and I hope that Gordon guy she recorded it for takes her back because she seems like a catch. Although I wish she knew the song by heart and wasn't reading the lyrics off her macbook :(

Simon & Garfunkel - Bookends

Simon & Garfunkel – Bookends
Columbia, 1968
Acquired: Love Garden Shotgun Room, Used, 2006
Price: $1

This was no doubt purchased during my “I want to build a record collection that I should have inherited from my parents” phase, sophomore year of college I believe. Despite being a little hit or miss, this is the record that has “America” on it, which I firmly believe is Simon & Garfunkel's best song. There's something about that humming that makes this song so warm and beautiful. This record fucking sucks though. I mean, it's got a track called “Voices of Old People” and it is EXACTLY THAT. The liner notes say “Art Garfunkel recorded old people in various locations in New York and Los Angeles.” They're all old jewish folk, and my god, it is annoying. Like a bit on an episode of “Seinfeld” or something. It slapdashedly incorporates “Mrs. Robinson,” which is a jam, but that's beside the point because it doesn't work in the concept of the album and sticks out like a sore thumb. “A Hazy Shade of Winter” is also very good, and a total jam, totally upbeat and vital unlike the rest of this sappy, milquetoast record. If they had the internet in 1968, I guarantee you this album cover would end up on LOOKATTHISFUCKINGBEATNIK.COM.

Simon & Garfunkel - Sounds of Silence

Simon & Garfunkel – Sounds of Silence
Columbia, 1966
Acquired: Love Garden, Used, 2004
Price: $5

This was no doubt purchased in high school on a day trip to Lawrence. My friend Nick and I thought this record was amazing, and was part of our rotation for Drawing class (that is, if we got there first and thus, got to pick the music). The Lynyrd Skynyrd guys thought we were pussies, no doubt, and now I can kind of see why they thought that. But with actual justifiable reasons. This is music for pussies. I like Paul Simon's solo records a LOT more, and for some reason I own three Simon & Garfunkel records. Don't get me wrong, I do like them, but this is some sissy shit, and I feel bad for all the kids who thought this was poetry. This record is alright though. It's got a nice folk rock lilt to it and it's fairly harmless. “Sounds of Silence” still manages to be epic and I remember spending a LOT of time with this record the summer before college. I'd listen to Side A over and over again because Side B is mostly shit. “Richard Cory” is their attempt to grow some balls and they fail, because the song is boring, and “A Most Peculiar Man” is just a weird song about an old guy who offs himself. “I Am a Rock” is a jam, natch, but it's at the very end of the record so I never listened to it that much. So is “Somewhere they Can't Find Me,” which I always forget about. It's got a jangly little groove to it and I really love the little guitar riffage on the chorus. And “April Comes She Will,” I guess, it's got a serenity to it the rest of the songs lack, it's pretty, and sounds like it should be in a Wes Anderson movie. The promo pictures Paul & Art have of themselves on the back of the record are amazing. They look like a couple of beatniks, but it looks like they're actively trying to look like beatniks. Paul has a scarf and a cigarette, Art has a turtleneck and a cigarette, and they're both wearing all black. They look like a couple of goofballs. This came out in 1966 and is famous for having Bob Dylan's backing band overdub the title track. And you know what Dylan was doing when these two beatniks were doing their precious little folk record? “Like a Rolling Stone.” It's not a bad record though, but it is a weak one.

Finding an appropriately awful fanvid for this was tough, because there are so many. But I think of all of the ones I viewed, this was the one that needed to be on the internet the least. It's not a fanvid, and I will potentially look like an asshole for poking fun at this poor girl, but I mean, she's not even playing the guitar part correctly! I just hate these, I guess, and especially when the people recording the songs don't know the songs at all! She is clearly reading the lyrics off her macbook and following along on the iPod.



Ok ok, this one warrants posting too:

Silver Jews - Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea

Silver Jews – Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea
Drag City, 2008
Acquired: Love Garden, New, 2008
Price: $14

Honestly, there really isn't a better record for David Berman to end on. It has some finality to it. Where he's worked out all the demons he needed to work out through music and can now move on. The album's final track, “We Could Be Looking For the Same Thing” is unlike anything Berman has ever done. That is, it's a seemingly straightforward love song. “We could be looking for the same thing/ If you're looking for someone/ We could belong to each other/ If you're not seein' anyone,” he sings. He's described it as a song about settling, but I think it's mostly just sweet, and how most relationships tend to work out. And I love that his wife's vocal harmonies factor heavily into the structure of the song. Unlike Bright Flight, where the suffering sung about is Berman's, here it's largely about the suffering of others. The album is dedicated to Jeremy Blake, a friend of Berman's who committed suicide. Berman, having attempted suicide, has something to reflect on. “My Pillow is the Threshold” is the best example of this, but it's scattered throughout the record. “Candy Jail” is a song that made a lot of sense after I got over the glee I got hearing Berman rhyme licorice with Swedish Fish. Essentially, though the world you live in is a fine place, where you have people that listen to you, understand you, and are there for you, sometimes it can be a fucking prison. The album's cover also plays into this theme, featuring three figures of Babar the Elephant at a cliff. You can't tell whether they're climbing up to safety or down to the crashing waves below. It represents the waffling tonality of the record. On one hand it's pretty depressing, but then you've got fun little ditties like “Party Barge” (whose sound effects of foghorns and seagulls never fail to make me giggle) and “Strange Victory, Strange Defeat,” which is effectively about squirrels. But then there's also the best song on the record, “Suffering Jukebox,” which perhaps best captures this middleground feeling. It's told from the point of view of a jukebox in a bar. It's full of songs about heartbreak and sadness, and it has to play these songs back against it's will. The jukebox seems to be Berman, singing back all his old pain and misery and maybe this is a veiled goodbye note. Or I might be wrong. Regardless, this is a fitting end to one of my favorite bands. I doubt Berman is done with music forever, and I'm sure he'll release something within the next few years, or then again maybe he'll stick to his new mediums of cartooning and screenwriting. But he's so good at this, that I think he might have a hard time keeping away.

RIP Joos

Silver Jews - Tanglewood Numbers

Silver Jews – Tanglewood Numbers
Drag City, 2005
Acquired: Love Garden, New, 2007
Price: $14

After releasing a pretty sad album following a suicide attempt, four years later Berman returns with Malkmus to make the most unhinged, rollicking, and fun record of his career. This one took a while to grow on me but once it did, hot damn. He's got a great knack for knowing how to open a record, because the less-than-two-minute “Punks in the Beerlight” is one of his most exciting songs ever. Exciting in the amount of energy flowing through it. The electric guitar slides, the build up in the middle, and the eruption of the final titular verse (with a bizarre reference to Toulouse-Lautrec) followed by the line “I love you to the max” on repeat. It's weird, but it kicks ass. This whole recordi s fucking weird, but it is also pretty fun. It's not my favorite Silver Jews record, but I do love the upbeat nature of it all and how his wife Cassie does harmonies on most of the songs. I think it's kind of sweet. Ultimately, this record is summed up in the last song on the record, where Berman sings “There is a place past the blues I never want to see again.” This is where he gets his shit together, and has a good time doing it.

Also, this is maybe my favorite fanvid ever:

Silver Jews - Bright Flight

Silver Jews – Bright Flight
Drag City, 2001
Acquired: Love Garden, New, 2007
Price: $14

This is notoriously known as the record David Berman recorded after trying to off himself. I think most of the critics ended up panning it because it wasn't as great as American Water, which I think is an awful reason to criticize a record. It tends to happen a lot. A band puts out their masterpiece and the follow-up always seems to get some sort of backlash, at least in the last ten years or so. It's like, what if Arcade Fire put out Neon Bible without funeral? People would pry be apeshit over that. Sure, it's not as good as Funeral but it comes damn close. It only happens with the epic albums, though. The game changers. The only bands that are not going to suffer any backlash it seems are Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear, and Dirty Projectors, who, since they have essentially been created by the internet, the internet will constantly support whatever they do. You need only look at Grizzly Bear's latest record, which was pretty much hyped to the point where if the record wasn't one of the top 3 records of the year people would explode. So, everyone ended up praising a record that has about two great songs with the rest being pretty boring. ANYWAY, Silver Joos. This is Berman's return to the Natural Bridge aesthetic. Malkmus is gone, probably pimping the final Pavement record, but this record doesn't really need him. It's a quieter, less epic affair. The songs seem a little more personal, despite a lot of leftover surreal imagery leftover from American Water (“Tanning beds explode with rich widows inside,” “I'm like a rabbit freezing on a star,” etc), most of the songs are if not personal, about people and delivered in a personal manner. The story-song “I Remember Me” was the track from this record that immediately grabbed me. It's one of the saddest songs I've ever heard, a tale of a man and woman happily in love until the man is hit by a truck, goes into a coma, his woman re-marries, he comes to and his world is gone so he buys the truck that hit him. Maybe this record got panned because it was too straightforward, which seems like a stupid reason to pan a record, or at least to pan a Silver Jews record. I really like the personal nature of the songs. Lines like “I'm drunk on a couch on Nashville/ In a duplex near the reservoir” hit close to home. That whole first verse of “Horseleg Swastikas,” actually, even the rabbit freezing on a star bit that I cited as surreal. It's like a drunk meditation on “what the fuck am I doing.” Almost half the songs seems autobiographical, or at least start with “I.” “I'm gonna love you for a hundred years,” “I'm drunk on a couch in Nashville,” “I saw the river playing in the valley,” “I wish I lived in the Power and Light.” It's a reflection on one's wants and needs in this world. It's like that line in “Pretty Eyes.” “Everybody's wants can't make it past the windowsill.” I think it's a humble record, and I think it's a beautiful record and maybe Berman's most affecting. There are no clicks or whistles, and there doesn't need to be any. It's just a broken down dude trying to get his footing back, and it's at times utterly sad and at times raoucous and fun (“Let's Not and Say We Did” and “Tennessee” clearly has a sense of humor, as it relies on a pun). Mostly though, there are more love songs here than usual and I think there's something sweet about that. And a David Berman love song is different from someone else's. And I almost forgot to mention how amazing “Slow Education” is, and how it's one of my favorite opening tracks. Ok, that's all. And actually, checking up on this record, I'm noticing that it got a lot of POSITIVE praise and that I must have only imagined that it got negative criticism. Which is good, because there's nothing here that warrants negative criticism!

Silver Jews - American Water

Silver Jews – American Water
Drag City, 1998
Acquired: Love Garden, New, 2006
Price: $14

This is a perfect record, and needless to say there's good reason why this is regarded as David Berman's masterpiece. Not only is his writing the best it has been or ever will be, but his collaboration with Malkmus works much better than on Starlite Walker. Yes, Malkmus is evident on that record, but here it wouldn't be the same without say, that solo on “The Wild Kindness.” Berman has never been the musician of the bunch, but somehow the music here is fucking astoundingly good. Constantly engaging and rarely, if ever, serves to simply provide a medium for Berman's lyrics. Although, as I mentioned in an earlier post, he could sing this shit over an acoustic guitar and it would still be amazing. But without that delicate lead guitar work in “like like the the death death” it just wouldn't be the same, you know? “All my favorite singers couldn't sing,” he sings in that one. I find it alarming that no one had ever sang that line before, because surely it's something someone had thought of. Or not, I don't know. The lyrics sheet reads like someone's poetry chapbook, except that it's not really lame. They are great, everything every songwriter should aspire to. Something that should be put on a pedestal some day. “Your lyrics are good, but they're not American Water good should be a saying.” This is also one of my ultimate “road albums,” and soundtracks every single road trip I go on. It was huge on the drive to and from California in June 2005, and seemed to be perfect for that trip, especially “Smith & Jones Forever.” There's something distinctly American about this record. Yes, American is in the title but there's more than that. There's the mythical west all over this thing. A sort of lost way of rambling about, anthems for hobos and hitchhikers. Funny enough, this record STILL grows on me every time I listen to it. I learn to appreciate different songs that got overshadowed by obvious jams like “Smith & Jones Forever,” “Random Rules,” “We Are Real,” etc. Lately I've been really loving the album's closer, “The Wild Kindness,” which I think might have the best lyrics on the record. Every line seems great. Actually, I will end this write-up with my Top 5 favorite lines on this record.

5. “When you know how I feel I better/ When you're 15 you want to look poor.”
4. “Build a stage for Autumn's bitch/ They walk the alleys in duct tape shoes/ They see the things they need through the window of a hatchback/ The alleys are the footnotes of the avenues.”
3. “We've been raised on replicas of fake and winding roads/ And day after day up on this beautiful stage/ We've been playing tambourine for minimum wage.”
2. “All my favorite singers couldn't sing.”
1.“Grass grows in the icebox/ The world ends in the next room.”

And because I love fanvids, here's one for "Random Rules."

Silver Jews - The Natural Bridge

Silver Jews – The Natural Bridge
Drag City, 1996
Acquired: Love Garden, New, 2006
Price: $14

I have a very hard time picking a favorite Silver Joos record. It usually waffles between all of them depending on my mood. This is often my favorite, though. After the loose ramble of Starlite Walker, it's great to see that he's finally figured it all out. And on top of that, the lyrics are better. The lines more memorable. “Pet Politics” is why I bought this record. I'd heard John Darnielle cover it on one of the Believer Music Issue comps and was hooked. “Deep in the night we dream of positions/ There's a line for the phone in the hall/ And in the cold places where Spanish is spoken/ Most wars end in the fall,” he sings. There's something iconic about that, about this song. “Black & Brown Blues” is another favorite, and one that's easy enough to play on the acoustic guitar and impress people if need be (because it's super easy, just D and G over and over again). Other jams include “Dallas,” “Inside the Golden Days of Missing You,” and the ultra sad “Pretty Eyes,” which is one of his finest lyrical compositions. Berman's book of poetry, Actual Air, is one of the only books of poetry I actually like, or read on a regular basis. It's just so good, different, weird, and I really don't know how he knows how to put words together so well.“The new girl in Tahoe has swallowed Sinatra's Cum” is pretty out there, although I always thought it was “nitrous cum,” which is to say, “Laughing Gas Ejaculate.” Which is the name of my new indie rock band.

Here's the Joos playin' "Prett Eyes" during their last show: