The Misfits – Static Age
Caroline, 1997 (Recorded 1978)
Acquired: Love Garden, Used, 2008
Man, this record has some weird fucking history. Recorded as their debut LP, yet unable to find a label for it, they pretty much ended up harvesting the songs on this record for singles. This and 12 Hits From Hell, which was ALSO a canceled album, are pretty much all you need. I mean, I guess you could pick up Walk Among Us or Earth A.D., but really, these two suffice. Desert island decision, though, I'd pick this one because it's got more fist-pumping weirdo jams. I do not know why the Misfits are frowned upon. There was a spot deriding the Misfits on KJHK, I forget what it was for but I took offense and tried to play the Misfits at least once a week (which always got a positive response, mostly from dudes). Static Age has “Last Caress,” “We are 138,” “Teenagers from Mars,” “Hollywood Babylon,” “Attitude” (though I prefer the other version where the chorus goes "Attitude," “Bullet,” “She,” and my absolute favorite, “Hybrid Moments.” I'm trying to convince Caribbean Isles to learn it. I could give two fucks about Horror-punk, this is all about Glen Danzig's understanding of pop melody. Honestly, the structure for these songs is straight from 50s and 60s. It's like an alternate version of Oldies, in a way. The songs are even topical to those decades, what with references to the book (by Kenneth Anger, I believe) Hollywood Babylon, the Kennedy assassination, and Vincent Price movies. After perusing their discography on Wikipedia, it appears I know very little about the Misfits other than that I jam on their songs quite often, and with it being Halloween time and all, I'm prepping a perfect mix for driving around. This is just good, fun as hell punk rock. When I can, before shows I try to soundcheck with “Last Caress.” Honestly, though, I think the collections are the best place to start. I picked up Collection I at Hastings for dirt cheap as a youth and cut my teeth on that. But for some fucking reason “Hybrid Moments” isn't on either of them, which is totally bullshit. I should make my own. The only other jams I need are “Horror Business,” “Where Eagles Dare,” “Halloween,” “Skulls,” “London Dungeon,” “Astro Zombies,” "I Turned Into a Martian," and “Mommy Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight” and I'd probably be set. Anyway, the Misfits have a weird history that I now need to look into. This sounds like pop music gone perverted in the best way. Just listen to Danzig's croon on “Angelfuck.” That, along with the lyrics, are creepy and the singing makes it totally fucked up. Yet it's so fucking CATCHY. That's the hook. Whether or not they were trying to be shocking or playing it up for camp doesn't matter. The Misfits are the Misfits.*
*Unless they are the FAKE Misfits.
Also, this appeals to the Kennedy Assassination conspiracy theorist in me. Honestly, I don't know how they got away with this. Who else could sing a song about Kennedy getting his brains blown out and then telling Jackie O that "my cum will be your life source" and that she will absorb that cum "like a dry desert soaking up the rain." All those bands trying to be edgy today are fucking SAFE.